I often feel like my time here, while worthwhile, is not as helpful as I hoped it would be. Much of my time is spent doing nothing. I read, I nap, I play Bejeweled on my computer, I sit in the office and distract whoever is working. I spend only 4 hours or so per day physically helping people here by helping prepare meals or working with groups of girls on their English.

English lessons themselves are mostly just conversation. These girls have already learned basic English in school; there is very little for me to teach. Instead, I feel that our English lessons are an opportunity to practice and remember the English the girls have already learned. So, while sometimes we read from the New Testament to practice pronunciation or translate American songs to appreciate culture and slang, mostly we just start a conversation with a dictionary on the table. Usually, we end up talking about true love and broken hearts, but it is amazing how much vocabulary one can practice while talking about past and present loves.

It is hard sometimes to reassure myself that I am earning my keep; however, I am starting to understand that my real contribution is a little more subtle. I realized this when one afternoon, a girl, Vicka, and I were sitting on the driveway waiting for dinner. She started telling me about a dream she had; in her dream, she and I were walking up a mountain and I told her I was staying until July. Then she woke up. I was so happy to hear this dream of hers, because while it was short, it made me realize that the girls here really do like me and don’t want me to leave. Also, the fact that the dialogue in her dream was all in English, made me feel really good about myself, because it means that these girls are embracing English even in their subconscious.

I may be a slow vegetable cutter and a bad sweeper, but just by being here, I am helping. I am teaching a different culture, forcing people to practice a new language, and encouraging girls to be successful and independent. And so when other visitors and volunteers show up with balloons and chocolate, I just have to remember that my influence here is much more long lasting and memorable.

Winda and Nia rocking the unicycles

Cleaning up our irrigation ditch. I have learned to dread holidays.